


At Our Parting

by flamegodess



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:41:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22884964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamegodess/pseuds/flamegodess
Summary: The sentence "I have never loved you" shattered her whole world.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	At Our Parting

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic requested on tumblr, this time an angsty one, I felt so bad to hurt my babies! Young royai. Prompt: I have never loved you.

Riza Hawkeye hugged her knees unconsciously at the hearing of the loud argument that came from the next room. She couldn't distinguish the words that were coming through the walls. More than that, she had never heard her father arguing with Roy before. They had always had their "alchemy" which was the reason her father was closer to him than to her.

She loved Roy. And Roy loved her too. There were four years since Roy had stepped for the first time in their house, so four years since Riza's life had totally changed. And over the last months, their friendship turned into more.

Many things weren't certain for Riza, but she knew Roy loved her. He had told her that many times, every time he had the occasion. She had been reluctant and still was sometimes. She was afraid to let herself swept by this wonderful feeling that seemed unreal. Even so, he didn’t miss any occasion to tell her how much she meant to him.

She waited patiently for him, sitting on his bed. He had been distracted last evening even if he had tried to hide it. That's why Riza was wondering if the reason for the discussion with her father was the same one that was troubling him.

Staring at the walls of the room, she remembered this was the place where they had confessed their feelings for the first time. He had kissed her forehead softly, then her nose, which had made her giggle, then his lips reached her upper lip and then her mouth.

It had been her first kiss and she knew that every time she would think about it her heart would skip a beat. A while later he had moved to her jaw and her neck and had whispered that he loved her.

Their eyes had locked afterwards and she had confessed her feelings too before pulling him into a long lasting kiss that had left them both breathless. Her memory was abruptly disturbed by the hearing of a shouted door, no doubt, the door of her father's office. The sound was followed by loud steps that were coming towards the room she was in.

Roy was angry. He had tried to nicely explain to his master why he wanted to join the military, but the old man had mocked him and tried to burn all his dreams to ashes. Not even the slightest support. This man, who was Roy's only father figure, didn't give a shit about his military future career. More than that, he had even kicked him out of his house because "It's worthless teaching you alchemy if you're willing to become a dog."

He had to leave now. How was he going to leave behind the only being in this world that he loved with all his heart? How was he going to tell her that he is leaving her alone? Should they make a stupid promise to love each other no matter the distance or the time? "Bullshit",Roy thought as he walked angrily towards his room.

He couldn't do that to Riza. He couldn't tell her to wait for him till he was done with the academy. That would be egoistic and would make them both suffer. Even if his heart was shattering at the thought, he needed to free her. She was younger than him and had a whole life ahead. If he died as a soldier he would destroy her forever.

He entered his bedroom and took a few steps back not expecting to see her there, hugging ger knees patiently on his bed. Shit, he had no idea what to say. He had to break her soul. 

"Roy? What was that about?" she asked worriedy. He averted his gaze from her and pressed his back against the door.

"I'm leaving. Your father kicked me out because I want to be a soldier." he explained coldly as if it was something casual.

"You're joking, right?" she asked hopefully knowing that he liked to joke about stuff like that, only to see her worried face so he could then laugh. Only that his laughter didn't follow. When his eyes finally met hers, she felt like freezing.

"Is my future a joke to you too, Riza?" he asked angrily.

"No but this is so unexpected... " she murmured as she got up from the bed and walked towards him.

"Don't touch me." was all he said and she stopped in her tracks.

"Roy, calm down, please... You're only angry." she pleaded and he tried not to look in her eyes because if he did he would break down.

"I have to leave."

"You are wiser than that, you shouldn't take decisions on spot! And I am sure my father didn't mean what he said... You can't leave. "

"Watch me!" he said as he got his old luggage from his wardrobe and put it on the bed. Riza closed the distance between them. Her calm attitude drove him crazy. It felt like shooting an innocent deer. 

"I am here for you. And I love you."

"I don't. " was all he could say. A deadly silence wrapped around them. Riza thought her heart might have stopped too. He was only angry. He was only angry. He was only angry.

"I have never loved you." he added and for a second looked at her again. In that moment he would have died to hold her to his chest, to kiss the top of her head and to apologize for being a monster. He wanted desperately to tell her that he was lying and that he loved her more than anything in this world. But this was also the reason he had to let her go...and she would understand later.

"You can't mean that." she managed to whisper as heavy tears started to fall down her cheeks.

"Why wouldn't I? What makes you so special to think that my heart belongs to you? Why would you be different from other girls that i had fun with?" he asked hating himself with every word that he pronounced. She was everything. 

She hugged herself and a sob escaped her.

"Just go, Riza... Our ways are parting today." he said with lots of effort. She would only suffer for a while, then she would be fine... 

"That's not you who is speaking..." she murmured through her sobs. Looking at her trembling body, Roy tried with all his might not to fall down to her feet and apologize.

"It is. And it's better this way-"

"We had more than fun, what we had was special..." what they had was the only thing that she trusted... And now this was gone too. She was again lost in a world of uncertainty. She wad again part of a world that had no Roy in it. "You said that you loved me... "

"People lie. Get used to that. This world is not fair. " He added shortly after he closed his luggage. He stepped towards her and gripped her shoulders tighter than he wanted. He was desperately trying not to fall to the floor and scream his heart out.

"It's over. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. There was never an 'us'." he said solemnly and she pulled away from his grip, scared, her body still trembling.

"I know this isn't you... But if it really is, I want you to know that for me it was very real...and that I still love you." she said before heading out and closing the door behind. That was all he was waiting for. He let himself fall on his bed and started sobbing in the pillow wishing that it was Riza holding him. He muffled a frustrated scream as the pain kept hitting him in waves. He knew he deserved that. He deserved to suffer just as much as her.

He wanted to run to her and tell her he was a jerk, that he would give up on military, that he loved her and that he wanted to marry her. It was too late for that. He had broken her. Forever maybe. Not even the thought that it was for her own good soothed him.


End file.
